Wasted Worry Jars
and grumpy weather reports
For our 25th anniversary, my husband and I rented a beach house for three weeks. Every day, for three weeks, there was a threat of rain. The weather report consistently predicted rain every. single. day. And over the three weeks it actually rained only a handful of times. Never once did the rain actually get in the way of our plans. But the possibility of rain was always there.. threatening to ruin our fun.
This reminds me a little bit what it is like living with anxiety. Waiting for the bad thing to happen. Seeing predictions for it (either real or imagined). And then, nothing…
Don’t get me wrong, sometimes what we are worried about does happen–just like it did rain on occasion. But it happens much less frequently than those of us with anxiety expect.
I used to make my daughter put a quarter to a “wasted worry jar” (an old tzedakah box) every time she worried about something that did not come to fruition. Like the time she got an “A” from the teacher who “never gives As” –she worried about that for weeks! And when she worried at the start of each year of high school and college that this year was not going to be as good as the year before. And on and on… I could pay a parking meter for months with the coins we collected on her wasted worries.
And the apple does not fall far from the tree. If worrying was an Olympic sport, I would get Gold. But I am better than I used to be. I am learning how to soothe my nervous system. To consider the best that could happen along with the worst. I am acknowledging my fortitude and ability to handle things even if they go wrong.
The weather people predicted rain every single day of our vacation. And despite that, there was sunshine.
How do you deal with your anxiety? Share your tips and strategies here:
Photo by Towfiqu barbhuiya on Unsplash
Scroll down for:
Homesick, Happy and Hopeful: With Special Guest Mia Silverstein—A Marriage and Martinis podcast episode
What Would it Mean to Be Done For the Day? by Oliver Burkeman
Forbes 50 Over 50 List for 2024: Meet the Women Winning Life’s Second Half
Continue scrolling to find out What I Am Reading Now…
Homesick, Happy and Hopeful: With Special Guest Mia Silverstein
My awesome niece Mia rocks this Marriage and Martinis podcast episode described below.
The number one most requested guest listeners always ask to return is none other than Adam and Danielle's oldest daughter, Mia. After years of struggling to understand more about her identity and find a place for herself, Mia has learned that navigating life as a neurodivergent human is a multi-layered, complex journey filled with redirection and deep reflection. Mia openly reveals how life has changed since getting diagnosed with Autism and ADHD four years ago, and the ways she's learned to live in a way that balances her unique, individual needs with the social and academic requirements of college life. Mia walks us through her experience changing high schools, graduating, and her transition to living away from her parents. How has she managed to stay on top of her schoolwork while also having to figure out how to make new friends and keep on top of everyday routines that are more complicated for her than for most 18 year olds? What tips and strategies does she have that others can benefit from knowing about and incorporating into their daily life as a newly independent "adult?" Also, how has this whole experience changed the way Danielle and Adam parent, and how they view "success?" What do they wish they had known sooner and done differently? What concerns did they have, and how did they stay afloat when it seemed like maybe the hopes and goals they had for Mia wouldn't come to fruition? What do they want other parents to know about communicating with their kids about their needs and concerns? How have they managed the stress of having a struggling kid away and, at times, uncertain about what would come next? This is a must listen for all parents, and offers so many amazing insights and nuggets of invaluable information for any caretaker who is navigating life with a kid who doesn't always check all the proverbial boxes and fit neatly into the world, which is undoubtedly designed for neurotypical humans.
If you loved this episode, you'll also love the Pivot episodes from August, 2022, when Adam and Danielle were going through their most difficult summer of parenting.
Check out our Back to School essentials, *Mia Silverstein approved.
What Would It Mean to Be Done For the Day?
Many of my clients struggle with feeling finished with work so they can genuinely focus on their personal life. If you struggle with this, I recommend this article by Oliver Burkeman author of the bestselling book Four Thousand Weeks.
“being done for the day” turns the focus inwards: to what it would take to allow yourself to feel done. It’s about what you might reasonably expect of yourself today, given your actual situation and limitations, regardless of what might by some other definition “need” doing.”
Forbes 50 Over 50 List for 2024: Meet the Women Winning Life’s Second Half
This list is a “a collection of groundbreaking women who understand that age and experience can be the best tools for success—and that, ultimately, there is no deadline for becoming who you are meant to be.”
The list is divided into four categories: Lifestyle, Impact, Innovation and Investment and is a great list of possible careers and companies you could work for if you are figuring out your next steps in your career.
A Good Life by Virginie Grimaldi
A JUNE 2024 INDIE NEXT PICK
Full of humor and compassion, a profound exploration of sisterhood, healing, and the ineffable beauty of life from France's most beloved contemporary novelist.
Laughter, tears, the transformative power of love, unexpected revelations, and striking natural beauty: these are the ingredients that combine to make best-selling author
Virginie Grimaldi's American debut the feel-good read of 2024. Emma and Agathe are sisters.
They were thick as thieves when they were young but have always been as
different as can be. Agathe, the younger sister, is disorderly, chaotic, and
fiery. Five years older, Emma has always been the more mature sister, the defender,
the protector, the worrier. Their relationship as adults is scarred by a
tragedy that transformed their happy, ordinary childhoods into something much
more complex and challenging. For a long time, Emma hasn't wanted to be
involved in Agathe's life. But then they must return together to the Basque
Country, to the house of their adored grandmother, to empty out her home and in
the process to reconcile, to remember, and to pour out what is in their
hearts. The story alternates between Agathe and Emma's childhood and their present day, with everything in between, and readers see them as young girls, teenagers, young women, mothers, wives, partners, individuals, sisters. This is a story that encompasses whole lives, complex lives, women's lives, asking all the while how the scars of the past can be healed and what, in the end, is a good life.
Oh goodness. I love the idea of a Worry Jar, and also slightly hate it because I know how it full it would be.🤣 It sounds like a fascinating exercise though.