They Say...
A Lesson From My Mom
They say…
That you are too old or too young to find a job, or you have too large of a gap in your resume or you are too experienced or not experienced enough or that you have been in your prior job too long or too short
They say…
That you should eat only meat or only vegetables or lots of dairy or no dairy or no sugar or gluten or eggs or the pyramid upside down or right side up. You should eat as little as possible, but not cause food waste or have an eating disorder
They say….
Don’t buy lattes so you can save your money but you should buy moisturizers and makeup and clothes that are flattering and maintain your youth and look professional or look like you are making an effort
They say….
You should hold your baby all the time, you should make sure other people hold your baby, co-sleeping is bad, cribs are bad, put your baby on a schedule, feed on demand
They say…
You should sleep more but make sure you get your steps in, that you should be ambitious and make time to smell the roses, to put your dishes away before you go to bed, to never go to bed angry, to be an early bird or a night owl
This is what I promise you:
They are not in charge of you
They have biases and histories and traumas
They are on a journey and are learning as they go along
They are as confused and as changeable as you are
Whatever they say can be questioned, turned upside down, inside out and backwards. It is based on a moment in time, with a certain set of facts. Don’t be controlled by them. Let their words wash over your skin but not be absorbed into your bones. You are the boss of your own life.
Scroll Down To Read:
What Will People Think? Who Cares?
Do Your Rules Make Sense
The Choice to Choose
Scroll Down to find out What I Am Reading Now
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Below are a few of my previous blogs where I have explored the ideas of “They Say…”
What Will People Think? Who Cares?
Do Your Rules Make Sense
The Choice to Choose
The Rest of Our Lives by Benjamin Markovits
NATIONAL BESTSELLER
FINALIST FOR THE BOOKER PRIZE
“Feels less like reading a novel and more like sitting in a car beside a dear friend as he navigates the road up ahead. A profoundly moving experience.” —Ann Patchett
“Deeply human...a beautifully quiet and devastating book.” —Sarah Jessica Parker
A triumphantly life-affirming road trip novel about marriage, middle-age, and a man at a crossroads in his life.
When Tom Layward’s wife had an affair twelve years ago, he resolved to leave her as soon as his youngest child left the nest. Now, while driving his college-bound daughter to Pittsburgh, he remembers his promise to himself. He is also on the run from his own health issues and a forced leave from work.
So, rather than returning to his wife in Westchester, Tom keeps driving west, with the vague plan of visiting people from his past—an old college friend, his ex-girlfriend, his brother, his son—en route, maybe, to California. He’s moving towards a future he hasn’t even envisioned yet while he considers his past and the choices he’s made that have brought him to this particular present. Pitch-perfect, tender, and keenly observed, The Rest of Our Lives is a story about what to do when the rest of your life is only just the beginning of your story.
The Road To Tender Hearts by Annie Hartnet
NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A darkly comic and warm-hearted novel about an old man on a cross-country mission to reunite with his high school crush—bringing together his adult daughter, two orphaned kids, and a cat who can predict death—by the beloved author of Rabbit Cake and Unlikely Animals
“A miraculous novel—an actual and spiritual road trip you won’t forget.”—John Irving
AN NPR AND LIT HUB BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR
At sixty-three years old, million-dollar lottery winner PJ Halliday would be the luckiest man in Pondville, Massachusetts, if it weren’t for the tragedies of his life: the sudden death of his eldest daughter and the way his marriage fell apart after that. Since then, PJ spends both his money and his time at the bar, and he probably doesn’t have much time left—he’s had three heart attacks already.
But when PJ reads the obituary of his old romantic rival, he realizes his high school sweetheart, Michelle Cobb, is finally single again. Filled with a new enthusiasm for life, PJ decides he’s going to drive across the country to the Tender Hearts Retirement Community in Arizona to win Michelle back.
Before PJ can hit the road, tragedy strikes Pondville, leaving PJ the sudden guardian of his estranged brother’s grandchildren. Anyone else would be deterred from the planned trip, but PJ figures the orphaned kids might benefit from getting out of town. PJ also thinks he can ask Sophie, his adult daughter who’s adrift in her twenties, to come along to babysit. And there’s one more surprise addition to the roster: Pancakes, a former nursing home therapy cat with a knack of predicting death, who recently turned up outside PJ’s home.
This could be the second chance PJ has long hoped for—a fresh shot at love and parenting—but does he have the strength to do both those things again? It’s very possible his heart can’t take it.
This is so wise and beautiful! The older I get, the more I see how it makes no sense to have these kinds of universal rules.