Learning to Live with Anxiety

When to welcome it and when to override it

Before I jump into my intended newsletter, I want to acknowledge the extreme sadness I feel as I watch the horrific news coming out of Israel. I am watching the news with horror as I witness a country I love suffer. I am praying for the people living in Israel right now—for their safety and ability to live their lives in peace.

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Now back to my original newsletter……

I am realizing that my anxiety is here to stay. I am not going to outgrow it anytime soon. But all is not lost. There are ways I can live with my anxiety in a way that is supportive and loving.

For me my anxiety is often visceral and embodied. When I feel anxious, it’s not easy to talk myself out of it. My anxiety can be situational (e.g. getting medical test results), it can be seasonal (rainy, stormy days flare up my anxiety), it can be hormonal, (which is really *fun* in perimenopause when hormonal shifts are less predictable).

I realize now that my anxiety will always be riding alongside me. Sometimes it will creep its head and I will have to look it dead in the eyes and say, sorry, I gotta do this anyway. I have to find a way to push through. And if I push through, I have to be extra caring with myself. I have to make choices that make the leap less scary and then give myself lots of TLC after the fact as my body settles.

Sometimes it will creep its head and I will look at it and say, ok, I hear you. I am going to chill out, and not dive into the situation. I don’t need to always push through my anxiety like we are often encouraged to do. Even if our anxiety is ridiculous, I think it is ok to give ourselves a break. Proving we are stronger than our anxiety does not need to be the goal. We can be kind and gentle with ourselves when we are feeling particularly vulnerable.

I will spend my life deciding when to heed my anxiety and when to override it. The answer may be external—this situation is actually not safe—avoid it! Or it may be internal—do I have capacity for this right now? But at age 52, I feel I am becoming more adept at trusting my gut. Knowing when to push through and when to hold back.

What is your relationship with anxiety? What are some situations where you have pushed through? What are some situations that you hold back? How do you care for yourself after pushing through a stressful situation?

Photo by Cory on Unsplash

Scroll down to read more about:

-A few career related websites to check out

-All the Best Advice on How to Get a Job

-Unretirement: the lure to return to work

-The Joys of Traveling with Teenagers (Seriously)

And then scroll all the way to the bottom to see What I Am Reading Now.

A Few Career Related Websites to check out

I love discovering new websites to share with my clients and these are a few that I have shared recently.

-Fishbowl—An inside scoop on company culture

-Comparably—Compare employers, brands and salaries

-Four Websites for remote jobs opportunities (from @forgoodcode)

Just remote, Remote, We Work Remotely (WWR), Wellfound:

“All the best advice we could find on how to get a job” by 80,000 hours

This should be required reading for all job seekers.

Unretirement: The lure to return to work

In the spirit of career shifts and pivots, I thought this article was appropriate. Sometimes people make the decision to retire and then change their mind. This article talks about the benefits of coming out of retirement and also the things to think about if you are planning to do this.

The Joys Of Traveling with Teenagers (Seriously)

I wrote this blog back in 2018 when my husband and I took our kids to Europe. Gideon and I are headed to Amsterdam without the kids on Wednesday to visit my nephew who is there for his semester abroad. I will miss not having our kids with us, but I am looking forward to our first Europe trip without kids in over 22 years!

Romantic Comedy by Curtis Sittenfeld

Sally Milz is a sketch writer for The Night Owls, a late-night live comedy show that airs every Saturday. With a couple of heartbreaks under her belt, she's long abandoned the search for love, settling instead for the occasional hook-up, career success, and a close relationship with her stepfather to round out a satisfying life.

But when Sally's friend and fellow writer Danny Horst begins dating Annabel, a glamorous actress who guest-hosted the show, he joins the not-so-exclusive group of talented but average-looking and even dorky men at the show--and in society at large--who've gotten romantically involved with incredibly beautiful and accomplished women. Sally channels her annoyance into a sketch called the Danny Horst Rule, poking fun at this phenomenon while underscoring how unlikely it is that the reverse would ever happen for a woman.

Enter Noah Brewster, a pop music sensation with a reputation for dating models, who signed on as both host and musical guest for this week's show. Dazzled by his charms, Sally hits it off with Noah instantly, and as they collaborate on one sketch after another, she begins to wonder if there might actually be sparks flying. But this isn't a romantic comedy--it's real life. And in real life, someone like him would never date someone like her . . . right?

With her keen observations and trademark ability to bring complex women to life on the page, Curtis Sittenfeld explores the neurosis-inducing and heart-fluttering wonder of love, while slyly dissecting the social rituals of romance and gender relations in the modern age