I Needed This
Maybe You Do Too?
My parents, who are both in their early 80s, put a new bird feeder up in their backyard. As soon as it was up, they texted the family thread a photo of the feeder. Our family thread (comprised of me, my brother and sister and our spouses, and all 7 grandchildren) is an active place. A place where birthdays are celebrated, exciting news is shared, politics are discussed and plans are made. My mom brings lots of humor to the thread—both intentionally and unintentionally — and the kids get a kick out of it. I adore our little multi-generational community. Anyway, back to the bird feeder.
When I spoke to my dad a few days later, I immediately noticed the excitement in his voice. He shared with me that after a few days of disappointment, the birds have finally arrived! It has become the cool place to be—attracting an array of birds. “And Amy, you would not believe it, but the very first bird that came I had never seen before.” I could imagine him shaking his head in disbelief. I mean what are the chances?
He proceeded to describe this bird in detail to me. I listened with bated breath even though I do not know the first thing about birds. My dad’s attention to detail as he described the bird was so calming to me. So centering. Even amidst the world’s chaos, he can take the time to look closely at this bird. Carefully gathering the information he needed to google it later. “I think it is some kind of a finch” he pondered.
Did you just notice yourself taking a deep breath? I know I did. It is the breath of the nervous system relaxing, taking a break, finally finding some calm.
The wonder, the joy, the excitement, it is a breath of fresh air to me. The state of the world is swirling around us. But my dad’s ability to take a breath and see the preciousness of the moment is such a relief. A reminder that we can enjoy the little things. We can find a way to see the “glimmers” as they are sometimes called. And I can picture my mom’s excitement about the finch too. Eagerly waiting for the birds to visit their bird feeder and their amazement when they arrive. Together they share the enjoyment of their project in the backyard.
This seem like the secret to aging and to living. My parents felt LUCKY that the birds discovered their feeder. They felt CURIOUS about this unknown bird. They felt WONDER that a bird they had never seen before showed up. And they felt COMMUNITY sharing their experience with all of us.
When do you feel lucky?
When do you feel curious?
When do you feel wonder?
When do you feel community?
Notice when you take that deep breath. When your nervous system calms. It is the path towards peace. And maybe, while you are at it, put up a bird feeder. It can’t hurt.
Interested in reading more on this topic? Here are some of my blogs from the vault you may enjoy:
Scroll down for:
Do The Next Right Thing, Change the World
5 Radical Principles That Go Against Everything Women are Taught about Work
Scroll Down to find out What I Am Reading Now…
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Do the Next Right Thing, Change the World
The Focus Group Podcast: Sarah Longwell interviews Heather Cox Richardson
“Our season finale is a bit of a pep talk. America is in a precarious place, but Americans everywhere are speaking up against the authoritarian threat. Historian extraordinaire Heather Cox Richardson joins Sarah to discuss the lessons history leaves for this moment, and Americans' role in fighting back.”
5 Radical Principles That Go Against Everything Women Are Taught About Work
THIS IS AN AMAZING ARTICLE. Please read it. Here is a sample:
Notice who's writing your to-do list.
Is it you, or is it the “system within”?
It’s in that pause, that moment of interruption, that your power starts flowing back.
Every time you resist the automatic tug, you reclaim a bit of your life, your freedom, your power to choose what actually matters to you.
Ahhhhh a breath of fresh air. Let’s do this!!
Kissing Girls on Shabbat: A Memoir by Sara Glass
“A searing testament to the strength in claiming one’s destiny.” —The Washington Post
A moving coming-of-age memoir in the vein of Unorthodox and Educated, about one young woman’s desperate attempt to protect her children and family while also embracing her queer identity in a controlling Hasidic community.
Growing up in the Hasidic community of Brooklyn’s Borough Park, Sara Glass knew one painful truth: what was expected of her and what she desperately wanted were impossibly opposed. Tormented by her attraction to women and trapped in a loveless arranged marriage, she found herself unable to conform to her religious upbringing and soon, she made the difficult decision to walk away from the world she knew.
Sara’s journey to self-acceptance began with the challenging battle for a divorce and custody of her children, an act that left her on the verge of estrangement from her family and community. Controlled by the fear of losing custody of her two children, she forced herself to remain loyal to the compulsory heteronormativity baked into Hasidic Judaism and married again. But after suffering profound loss and a shocking sexual assault, Sara decided to finally be completely true to herself.
Kissing Girls on Shabbat is not only a love letter to Glass’s children, herself, and her family—it is an unflinching window into the world of ultra-conservative Orthodox Jewish communities and an inspiring celebration of learning to love yourself.
I so enjoyed reading about the bird feeder and the joy of being visited by different birds - you are right, it feels like a long exhale.
Thanks for the mention I appreciate it! 💃💃